Unlikely companions

Why laughter and grief often walk hand-in-hand

When we think of grief, we often imagine tears, sorrow and a quiet, heavy silence.

When we think of laughter, it's usually associated with joy, lightness and celebration.

Yet, for anyone who has truly experienced profound loss, the two are not strangers.

They are, in fact, often profoundly intertwined – a truth beautifully illuminated by Dr. Madan Kataria, the founder of Laughter Yoga.

Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash

Dr. Kataria once shared a powerful video featuring a man named Rahul. In this raw and unforgettable clip, Rahul is seen doing Laughter Yoga, but it’s not the carefree, joyous laughter one might expect.

He is laughing, yes, but simultaneously, tears stream down his face, expressing deep sorrow for a friend who has passed away. He is, quite literally, laughing and crying at the same time.

This isn't a contradiction; it’s a profound testament to the human spirit.

The shared channel of emotion

Both laughter and tears are powerful, physiological responses. They are outlets. When we experience intense emotions – whether joy, sorrow, stress or relief – our bodies seek a way to discharge that energy.

• Physiological release:  Both laughter and crying engage the diaphragm, alter breathing patterns and release tension in the chest and throat. They are both profound somatic experiences.
  

• Vagal nerve activation:  Both stimulate the vagus nerve, which plays a crucial role in regulating our emotional responses and moving us from states of high stress back to calm.
  

• Neurochemical flood:  Both can lead to a release of endorphins, our body's natural painkillers and mood elevators, offering a sense of catharsis and relief even amidst pain.
  

Laughter as a pathway through grief

Rahul’s video shows us that Laughter Yoga isn't about ignoring grief or forcing happiness. It’s about creating a safe, physical space for expression when words fail.

1. Breaking the stagnation:  Grief can feel heavy and stagnant, trapping emotions within the body. Laughter, even when simulated, creates movement and vibration. It can shake loose some of that frozen sorrow, allowing it to move through us rather than remain stuck within us.
   

2. Permission to feel:  In a Laughter Yoga session, there’s no judgment. We are encouraged to laugh for no reason. This same safe space allows other emotions, like sadness or anger, to surface without the pressure of needing to 'explain' them. Rahul's simultaneous laughter and tears are an uninhibited expression of his entire emotional landscape.
   

3. Connecting with life: 

   Grief isolates. Laughter, even when painful, can be a way to reconnect with the vibrant, messy, full spectrum of life. It reminds us that even in deep sorrow, the capacity for physical expression and even a flicker of lightness remains. It’s a way of saying, "I am still here and I can still feel."
   

4. The cathartic wave:  Sometimes, a wave of intense sadness can be followed by a moment of unexpected, almost hysterical laughter. This isn't disrespect; it's often the body's way of finding equilibrium, of releasing the unbearable tension of sorrow. Laughter Yoga can provide a gentle catalyst for such cathartic waves.
   

Beyond the smile: The true power of Laughter Yoga

Rahul's poignant display reminds us that Laughter Yoga is far more than just a tool for happiness; it's a powerful practice for emotional resilience. It teaches us that we can access a deep well of release and connection, even 'under all circumstances'. It allows for the full, complex tapestry of human emotion to be honored and expressed.

In moments of profound grief, when words are inadequate and the heart feels shattered, sometimes the most healing thing we can do is simply let the body move – whether through tears, tremoring (as in TRE), or even a deep, raw, sorrowful laugh. It’s a testament to our capacity to feel everything, and to keep moving forward, one breath, one tremor, one laugh at a time.

This reminds me of the following feedback from a Laughter Yoga participant:

"Can you please pass on to Sylvia my thanks for this class. My mother sadly passed away two weeks ago but just before her final weeks I shared Sylvia's class with her.

This was the first time she had heard of Laughter Yoga. It was a joy to watch her belly laugh, something she had not done for a long time as she was in pain and struggling with her illness.

As a result, I now have a really nice memory of the time we spent laughing and relaxing together. This I am sure will help me get over the sense of loss I currently feel.

I was unsure if I could participate in today's class, but I did and found it so therapeutic seeing Sylvia and the other participants really lifted my mood." Jeannette